Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I Sold My Soul Because I'm a Sucker for Flattery

*Ding Dong* *Knock*Knock*Knock*

Door opens – ''HI''

“Hi. My name is Nina. We’re in the neighborhood with Kirby Vacuums. Oh my GOODNESS, your home is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Did you make that??”

“Yeah I did! Come in, I made this rug over here too!”

Those weren't the exact words used in the conversation, but it went pretty much just like that. And it didn't end there. She walked through my house and was in love with everything.

 And that’s all it took. One woman stroking me ego, telling me how pretty my home is and suddenly my home is hosting the Kirby door-to-door sales people.

 I want to be humble. I know for a fact that there are more amazing people then I am. Smarter. More cute. Much funnier. Better at organizing, and decorating, and making things and cooking…and any amount of other things. In all honesty, I basically have no self-esteem, there is an entire world of people that are better than I am at anything you could think of…. but if someone tells me my house is cute, that’s the end of me. All modesty is out the window. You are my new best friend and I will believe anything you say, buy anything you are selling. 

Which I did. 

 My plan was to let the guy do the whole thing and then say the "thanks, but no thanks" and pawn off what was left of the Girl Scout cookies we had inherited from Husbands work. Husband sat through the whole demo with me though --- The white pads that show you all the dirt that gets pulled up after one running swipe, the cleaner attachments, the shampoo feature, the mattress cleaning, and the whole spiel. It’s all very impressive, as I knew it would be. And, it’s all very expensive….

 I knew I wanted it, and if we got it then we would be making payments on it, and since I still am the only one in my family that doesn’t have her own KitchenAid (though it’s the one thing I feel would basically complete my life and home….), I couldn’t imagine Husband saying yes to the most expensive vacuum you’ll ever see. And I was already OK with that because I know I can’t have everything I want no matter how wonderful it would be at making my life easier. 

 But he didn’t say no.

 He said yes.



 You could slap me in the face right now and I wouldn't be as surprised as I was when he said it. I love my Husband, but the man hates to spend money on anything he doesn't see as a necessity. He hates spending money on something he himself wouldn't be using, which explains why I still don’t have my ultimate dream machine KitchenAid. The only time I have seen him spend money like it was nothing was when his beloved Xbox flashed him the Red Ring of Death. As soon as it happened he started putting his shoes on to go to the store for a new one without a second thought.

 But, for some reason, he said yes. I personally think it was the fact that it pulls up all the pet dander from the carpets that he liked it so much. I almost didn't get my cat(s) because a few members of his family {that live in different states} are allergic, but with my new vacuum they can visit with a problem anymore.

Now I have a Kirby, along with the payments, and it’s all because someone told me my house is cute. I will say, if you have never seen a sales demo, do it. It’s amazing. You will feel like you’ve been living in filth your entire life. But don’t buy it. You can just call me and use mine. Just do me the favor and don’t tell me that my house is cute. Keep that to yourself so I don’t get a big head about it. 

*and P.S., I've put my magical vacuum to good use. The spilled punch after a baby shower i threw came out with no problem at all. It cleans everything. And I love it.


Jen, Jenny, Jennifer said...

I totally sold Kirby vacuum cleaners door to door one summer! I have some pretty crazy stories from it. Hopefully you were able to talk them down on the price some because it's totally flexible. Besides that, it is a great machine. My parents have 2 (one that I sold to them)!

nicwoo said...

This story had me laughing, thanks for keeping it real. (We got sucked in, we ended up with a second hand one though and it still works just fine!)