Amnesia

Retrograde Amnesia -- a person's pre-existing memories are lost to conscious recollection, beyond an ordinary degree of forgetfulness. The person may be able to memorize new things that occurs after the onset of amnesia, but is unable to recall some or all of their life or identity prior to the onset.
I've been struggling with weather or not i should blog about this, but this is something that right now is really most definitely affecting me. Chances are i won't publish this post because more then anything i'm venting, but i kind of need to throw this out into the void so maybe not, so humor me today.

This handsome man is my father.

I'm absolutely a daddy's girl. I love my dad. Not that i'm putting him on a pedestal, but my dad is one of my favorite people i know. He's a good man, and a great example. He has his faults, some more then others, but he admits them, and one of the good things about him is that he's humble enough to make the efforts to right his wrongs. And that great example part about him, the part where he loves his family and appreciates everything that he has and everyone around him, and would give the shirt off his back if you asked... that's the part that i love about him. He can seem like a bear sometimes, but he's really a gentle giant. All the good things about him are the good things i was looking for when i found Husband.

This past week, while my dad was rotating the tires on my step-mom's car, he fell in the garage and hit his head. My step-mom heard him cry out and found him on the ground with a huge welt on the side of his head which she thinks he got from hitting his head on a propane tank. He was taken to the hospital, scanned, tested and monitored while he was in and out of consciousness, and initially was diagnosed with a concussion. There was nothing bleeding or broken and his scans were all normal. But after he woke up, when anyone tried to talk to him, he kept pointing to his ears saying he couldn't hear anything. The kicker was when he got to focus on his wife Cindy and asked who she was. It was the same thing through the afternoon whenever he woke up: "I can't hear you. My head hurts. Who are you?", so amnesia was added on to his diagnoses. Once he started getting his hearing back a little he said he was hungry. He was sent home and told to do nothing but rest for the next 3 days and was scheduled to see a neurologist in Salt Lake on day 4.
When he got home, he didn't recognize it. He asked his wife to show him where he could lay down. Nothing is familiar to him right now. He doesn't know his home or his family, and doesn't recognize anyone that stops by to see him. So far, its embarrassing, confusing and frustrating for him when he knows he can't remember something. He's still has his basic living skills though; walking and talking and reading and all that. But he's not able to express himself as articulately as he usually does. He takes his time thinking for the right words. For him, usually when he's frustrated and tired, he's a grouch, but i've been talking with my step-mom and she says he's actually being very pleasant and patient. He just excuses himself and asks for a little space. I got to talk to him today for his birthday, and he sounds like himself for the most part, he still thinks the same way. He was saying me a lot of the little jokes he says when we talk about his weight or something, and he was proud to hear all the good things that are going on for everyone, so he's still the same person. When my step-mom gave him a driving tour of their town the other day, he knew he loved Arctic Circle and wanted to stop there for lunch, which is something very typical for him to want to do. When they went to Salt Lake for his neurology appointment, Salt Lake being where he grew up, he recognized parts of it. The house where his mother lived, and those kids of places. He kind of knew his way around, and while he was talking to a Air Force vet at the VA hospital that served in Korea, he remembered, on his own, his favorite uncle who also served in Korea. Also on his own he has been able to remember that he has 3 sisters and a brother, and Cindy fills him in when he asks for it. But usually he only wants little doses of information before its too much to comprehend. He's been shown pictures, and he recognizes himself in them, and he thought he knew who his uncle was in the same picture, but my brother and i were new to him. People and places are still knew to him, and its going to take some time. He's very positive about all of it though, so i think that's really good. When i was telling him tonight about places we've lived, he was very excited to hear of all the things he's done (like living on Guam, and Scuba diving), and he thinks its very interesting that he has so many guns ans SO much stuff for reloading bullets. I think he was kind of laughing at himself the way he was talking about it. He's positive about everything, and that's the part that matters.
When i found out what had happened, I cried. I admit it. There wasn't anything else i could do. The last few days, just thinking about him makes me tear up. I cry for him, and the thought of how hard it is for him through all of this. And, selfish person that i am, i cry for me knowing my father, the man i deeply love and am constantly turning to for advice and comfort, the man that helped raise me with my mother...that mad doesn't know or remember me at all. So this moment --

the one where we dance at my wedding, is lost to him right now. All my special memories with him are lost to him. He doesn't know me, his first born. And there isn't anything i can do to help him right now. Nothing is going to help him but time and faith right now.
About 2 years ago he started writing his personal history down, made a whole book about his life and things he could remember. This December he got all the way up to the part where he started dating my step-mom Cindy, which is something she remembers very well and can definitely fill him in on, so he has that to go to if this takes a while to get over. And if i can't be there for him, the person i trust more then anyone to help him through all this is Cindy. She's a blessing to our family, and most absolutely to him, and she has been for 10 years now. I know how hard it is for me, all the way in California, so i can only imagine what this is doing to her, having the man she loves not know who she is or how much they really love each other. But she's being strong, and positive, and he is too, and she's there for him all the time to help him. He wants to remember, he just knows its going to take some time. He's looking through pictures, and he's reading the books he keeps by his bed (about his guns and reloading), and he's retaining everything about all of it really easily, which is very typical for his type of amnesia. He was spouting out all kinds of information he read today like its second nature to him, which it is to him really, so these are all good things. More then anything its hard knowing he doesn't know us right now, but after talking to him today finally, i have a lot of hope that things will come back to him in time.
So family and friends, i'm asking for everyone to remember my dad Mario in your prayers for the next little while. We all feel like things are going to be ok in the end, that this is just a temporary trial and that he'll get his memories back. But until that happens, we're asking for some Divine comfort and help from Heavenly Father, and a little extra happy positive loving thoughts sent our way.
And thanks, for letting me vent today ;]

A Little Late Is Better Then Nothing At All

Happy New Year! ....ten days after the fact. Sorry.
I'm hanging my head in shame right now. I know it's been a while since i've really done a whole update (over a month), and since Husband and i are a bad married couple and didn't send out a cute Christmas card of us to all of our family and friends -- even though i wanted to but Husband shoot down that idea cuz he thought it was silly until we got a bunch from all his siblings proving my point -- i get to fill you in here. But i wanted to give an update on how life is going.
....It's going :) Nothing too great, and nothing terrible.
This past year included a bit of traveling, cooking, lots of cleaning, crafts, and lots of happy days together and with our friends and family. Husband got certified in September so he's flying with the crews on the C1-30's now. He keeps the planes running right, does safety checks, and currently he's working on getting qualified to work on the radio in flight. He'll say things like "Niner" and "Charlie" and radio talk stuff like that :) This is just in time for him to attend C school this coming February in sunny Florida for the month. He also started going back to college this fall semester. It was only 3 credits in English, but he's gearing up to get ready to go back to college full time when his time is up with the Coast Guard so we're getting ready for that when the time comes. He's still working with the 11 year old scouts at church. There aren't many of them in his group, but he's still having fun with it every week.
And me? Well, you've been reading about my life on here for the most part. i don't think i've left a lot out. I'm still working in Nursery at church, which really is a highlight of my week, and things are going good. I tell Husband every week how i wish i could kidnap some of my little nursery kids and take them home with me, but he says that i'm not allowed to and he's pretty firm on that. I've decided i may be going back to school myself this spring. I've talked with a counselor, and if i can get the schedule worked out, then i think i'm going to do it. I'm having a little trouble with the idea of having to get up before 7 a.m. -- yes, i've been spoiled as a house wife by sleeping in till 8:30 at least, and i admit it -- but as much as i hate to give that up, school isn't for forever. If i get into the program, 18 months will fly by. I could take evening classes, but then i would never see Husband. He's working nights now, so he's sleeping when he gets home in the mornings and i won't be missing much by being at school during that time.
So to fill you in on the last few months since i haven't been blogging.... for Thanksgiving we did not have a big thing at our house again. Last year we had a party less then a week after moving into our house with a bunch of new friends from church, but we didn't want to go to all that hassle again this year. Maybe next year though ;) We were debating weather to make a small version at home for just the two of us or to go out to dinner, but then we got a call from our friends from Utah, the Vallens, that were coming to see their Grandma in Napa Valley for Thanksgiving and they invited us to join them. Since the Vallens are like Husband's extra family, if we had had plans before, we would have had to cancel cuz there's no way we could have missed it. Thanksgiving dinner was amazing, Sister Vallen is a fantastic cook and i especially loved it because they wouldn't let me bring anything. I don't remember the last time i was fed that well with such delicious food. The day after Thanksgiving we didn't get up at any crazy hour for Black Friday shopping, not that i ever have. Instead we went with the Vallen's to San Francisco. We took the ferry and spent the day walking around Pier 41 and Ghirardelli Square being tourists. It was great, especially since that was one of the things on my list to do in SF that we didn't do for my birthday.



The beginning of Dec was Husbands work Christmas party. I've been asked to post a picture of how my dress turned out for that, but silly me, i didn't take any. Lame right? When the thought struck me that i should take one it was the end of the night when we got home, and since it had been raining my hair had lost all its curl/body and looked terrible so i decided it wasn't a great idea. Sorry girls :( But at least i have a cute dress and hot husband left over from the night, right? I'll admit it right now though, if he wants to go again next year i'm re-wearing the dress cuz shopping for that was not fun.
We had to do it a day early because of Husband's work schedule, but we had our first Christmas at home together without going to see either of our families. Our first year being married we went to see my family, and last year was with Husband's family. But this season I got to decorate my house and get a tree and everything. I got all the Christmas present shopping done 2 weeks before the big day even :) I'm a terrible wife though. Over a month before Christmas Husband's xbox had the dreaded Red Ring of Death. There are some guys out there that know how to fix that, but Husband isn't one of those. As soon as it appeared Husband declared it dead and asked if he could go buy a new one as he was disconnecting his old one and putting on his shoes to go out. Seriously. That red light started flashing and it went from zero to $300 in under 10 seconds. We had just taken the first trip to SF for my birthday, and Christmas was only a month away, so i was surprised that he was so willing to spend that kind of money. It made me feel like i was kicking a puppy when i first told him no, that he had to wait. But i gave in the next day.... I just couldn't tell him no. The new xbox came with the Kinect though, so it has given us some fun evenings playing together...except for the night Husband slapped my arm so hard while we were playing Ping Pong and i balled like a baby. I had a bruise for a few days from that one and now he's afraid to play with me. He'll be standing on the wall side of the room when we play for now though. But after that, he was impossible to shop for for gifts since i let him get it. He says he's a simple guy and he just doesn't want anything, so it makes me feel selfish that i do want things...until i remember that we spent $300 on the new xbox for him. I'm sorry for being a girl, but i want chair covers and curtains. I've done the pricing for both of them, and they didn't add up to $300. And a KitchenAid! I've been dreaming about getting one for years. But who's the one that has to wait for what they want? I'm ok with this though, only because i would have had to be the one to entertain him all the time if he didn't have it.
For my gift giving i decided to make gifts for all of my sisters-in-law. I'm in love with all the cute aprons you can find online, and i found so many on Etsy it was impossible to pick one for myself, but if i wanted to give them as gifts, at about $30 an apron, i wouldn't even get one for myself. But then i found a pattern on Etsy to make my own and decided to take on the project :) I went to JoAnn's Fabric and picked out enough cute fabric for all 5 of my sisters-in-law and hunkered down in my craft room with the sewing machine and ironing board, and the laptop with Netflix so i would have something to listen to/watch while i was in there. Four days later, and just in time to get them all in the mail, i was done.
Husband didn't want me to post these pictures, but after days of just showering but not doing my hair or putting on makeup or even getting dressed in more then pj's because i was holed up in the craft room, I wasn't going to be the one to pose for the pictures. Of course he doesn't fill out the aprons like a girl so they don't look as cute as they would if i had sucked it up and did it myself, but you get the idea.

For Coty

Sarah

Natalie

Hanna

Leah

He didn't want to smile for the camera even though i told him that the only people that actually read our blog are family or close friends, but i think he has some left over traumatic memories of some certain pictures that were taken when we were younger. One where he's dressed up in a dress.....

He's such a good sport for me :]

The aprons all turned out great though. I slowly got better and better with my sewing skills on each one and i'm happy with what i accomplished. From what i heard from everyone, they loved them :] I originally purchased the pattern to make one for me, but it quickly morphed into a much bigger project once i got the idea into my head and i still haven't made one for myself. I haven't decided which colors i want to use for mine and i'm not looking forward to standing in JoAnn's for hours on end again to decide what i like the most for me.

Since Christmas, i've been spending my time reading. A lot. Husband got me a Kindle for Christmas and i can't seem to put it down. It's so easy to just press a button and have a new book to read. It can only lead to trouble... I've read about 15 books already, and there are about that many more that i've wanting to read. But i've put myself on a budget and right now i'm reading on the free books that i can find that seem interesting.

I've taken breaks from reading to do a little crafting though. I've drawn up my plans and dimensions for the padded headboard i'm going to make for our bed, and this week is going to be the week i start making it. I have the money for the materials, i've borrowed a drill from a friend, and i'm ready to get it done. I'm excited to be getting this done finally cuz i've been talking about doing it for forever.

We're looking forward to this next year and seeing how it unfolds. This last year was great, but I'm thinking this year is going to be even better for us.

I hope everyone had a great holiday!

You're Speaking English

Today i spent the afternoon watching a friends 3 year old little girl Olivia (Livy). This girl is stinkin cute and tons of fun. I'm not sure who has more fun when she comes over though, her or husband. She likes to make him chase her in circles around the house growling the whole time till he catches her or until she can get to me and roll up in my lap to hide when she inevitable gets caught and tickled.
Today we decided to take her to the park that is a few blocks from our house. I've been wanting an excuse to check out this park, but since we don't have any kids of our own it would seem kind of weird to go there without a reason. But it turned out to be a great park. There was a regular size playground, and then a smaller scale playground for the under 5 age group that's shorter and you're not in fear of the kids falling off the sides or between the railings, and the slides are smaller so their not picking up so much momentum and flying out at the other end. There were a lot of other kids at the regular playground, but not really any at the smaller one for a while. We had fun sliding down all the slides, her telling husband to follow her up and down from one slide to the next. But eventually a little boy showed up to play with us too. I would say he was about 4, and at first he played on his own, but pretty soon he was inviting Livy to play with him. He was trying to show her how to ride the little horse on a spring thing when i realized i didn't understand anything he was saying. He was speaking a different language, but because we live in America i assumed he would be bilingual and know English as well, so i told him thank you for sharing and asked him if he would show us how to go through the tunnels too. That's when he looked at me a little funny and said:

"Usted está hablando Inglés".

Translation: "You're speaking English".
He said something else after that, and then went to play some more. That's when husband stepped in and started speaking in Spanish to him for me (one of those skills he learned on his mission he served in Chili). I'm not sure what was all said still, but husband told him he speaks Spanish, translated what i said and asked him what his name was. We never got an answer to that, but i think that's forgivable because aren't you not supposed to tell strangers what your name is when you're that age? We'll just overlook the parts where he was playing with and talking to strangers in this case though. He continued to play with us for a while though until some other boys showed up for him to play with. We had our fun and one of the new additions to the playground decided him and i were best friends and was constantly looking for excuses to play by me while smiling and blushing when i smiled back at him. I've always had that effect on boys though, no matter what age ;)
We wore Livy out enough that when we were ready to go home, she didn't put up a fight about it other then she was done with husband completely and didn't want him to hold her hand while we walked back. I ended up having to carry her the whole way back. My arms still feel like they're about to fall off, but it gave me that hope that i'll get that benefit of great arm muscles when i have kids of my own one day.
On the walk home husband filled me in on what the little boy at the park had said though. He said it was "Spanglish", but way more Spanish then anything and was laughing about it, but i felt kind of silly about it for a little while. Now i'm seeing the humor of it though. Sadly i never had to take a different language in school, so i don't know whats being said to me in any other language. When husband is teasing me and tells me things in Spanish i just say "Si", or "No", or "ok mi amor", and occasionally i'll throw in "taco" just to throw him off a little. He says he'll teach me one day, but i've yet to learn anything from him on that one.
I'm not going to go off on that tangent about how "this is America, and if someone wants to live here they should speak English" because if you ask me, that seems a bit ignorant to say something like that. Besides, i'm sure his parents speak English just not very much while at home. But yes, I'm speaking English, because that's what i know :) It was a fun day at the park though, in English and in Spanish.

p.s. Happy April Fools. husband and i didn't do any pranks, but its all fun at our house anyway.

No Pictures :(

Valentines turned out to be great though.
Saturday evening i spent making Oreo Truffles for some of our friends to give to them at church. I had been planning to make everyone cupcakes, but I had had these lovely magical goodies at Christmas in new mexico (husbands sister leah brought them over) and i saw the recipe on a friends blog so i knew i had to make them. And they turned out great! That night i also made husband hang out downstairs while i was upstairs putting his candy gram together. He didn't like knowing i had a secret that i was putting together at all, as well as having to hang out by himself watching tv. I hid his gift under the bed and he was none the wiser. We actually had to get up at a decent hour for church the next morning because it was Stake Conference, so we ended up exchanging gifts while we were getting ready.
This is where i would insert the picture of cute husband holding his awesome candy gram if i had the missing camera.....*sigh*
i took pictures, with my little camera, of the whole day but like i said, there's no way to get it onto the computer without the missing camera that has the USB cable. sad.
Husbands favorite thing to get me for gifts is movies. It probably is safe that way because if i let him get me the things i really want........lets just say we would be in A LOT of debt. i love him for always wanting to get me everything i want, but movies are a good safe less expensive thing to ask for. He got me The Time Travelers Wife, flowers, and once again a card with completely wonderful things written in it. He's great at that part... *sigh*
i handed out the Oreo Truffles in clear valentine themed Chinese food takeout boxes i had found at Michaels *picture would be inserted here*. I couldn't find 2 of the couples i made the boxes up for, but husband didn't mind eating them for them. He calls them "goobers" and tells me i should open a sweets shop to sell them in. Our friends Tammy & Jeremy loved them so much they had us over to their house to teach them how to make them. i don't see a sweets shop in my near future though.
Now,
*right here*
i would have posted a picture of how our dinner turned out. It was great! I don't think i've ever made shrimp for anyone, or used shallots in anything either, but we both loved it, and i had fun making it.
Then there was desert. Husbands favorite cake on earth is red velvet, so that's what i made for him. It was wonderful.
*insert picture here*
I made it all from scratch too. The cake, the frosting, the fondant. Sadly my chocolate fondant didn't turn out the way i wanted it to. i had made it before in regular white, but the adding the chocolate didn't turn out right. Oh well. But it tasted great, and i had fun making all the gum paste flowers to decorate it with, so i call it a success. Especially since husband LOVED it :]
It was a good Valentines that i would have posted about sooner if i hadn't been searching the house for the camera every day. In all my searching i thought i would have stumbled onto other things i've been looking for or forgot about, but strangely enough i came up with absolutely nothing. And i think my house is a little messier then when i started :[
Now that its warming up outside more, raining less and less and the days are getting longer, we've started walking in the evenings. It would be more fun if we had a dog for this, but we're enjoying the time together. All the neighborhoods around our house, it turns into 5 miles round trip, and its nice. This week looks like a bunch of rainy days though so we'll take a break i guess. But soon i'm hoping to bump up the walking into jogging. Husband hates jogging he says, but i think he'll come around to.
So, there isn't a lot going on this week for us. Husband has duty tonight so i'm having a quiet night alone. I may put in a chick flick and make some popcorn. Later this week, Friday to be exact, we're going on our date for the month (we usually go out more often, but we're trying to save money). Any guesses what we're doing?? I'm so proud of myself for coming up with this idea: we're going to the Kings/Jazz game here in Sac with 4 of our friends :] Our seats are absolutely nose bleeders, but i don't think any of us care. We're all excited. I'll take more pictures, but we'll see when we actually get to post them. Sorry.
So there you go. I'm sorry for the disappointing lack of pictures, but things are the way they are. I'll still keep looking and keep you all updated though.

Oh no

Ok, i know i promised pictures of our amazing Valentines, and i did take those pictures i promised. Lots of them. I took those pictures with my camera assuming i would be able to upload them onto my computer with the USB connection cord that we have for my husbands super nice camera. I was going to post them yesterday, but we realized that we haven't seen husbands camera since our Christmas trip to New Mexico.....Husband and i have gone through every room of the house looking for this camera, not because i want to blog, but really because its such a nice camera and to lose it is a terrible thing. Its one of Husbands few possessions he has pride in owning, one of those things he loves. So we're searched the whole house several times and we can't find it. More then anything, i feel sad for husband. We'll keep looking, but until we find it i don't know if i'll have personal pictures of us for a while :(
i'll catch you up on the week soon though.
Wish us luck that we find it!

Angry Face

I almost had my first real car accident today. I was on my way to the bank, i had my Jamba Juice in the cup holder, and i was thinking about how i was about ready for another sip of it when i got to the red light 2 intersections up. The car in front of me turned right so i had to slow down for it and i was speeding up through the intersection when all of a sudden a car pulls out into the intersection right in front of me out of nowhere. It hadn't even stuck its nose out to see if anyone was coming so i'm not sure it had even stopped for their red light. I didn't have time to hit my horn, i had to swerve to miss her so fast and luckily there wasn't a car in the lane next to me otherwise it would have been a mess... She sped off to the far left lane and got into the turning lane to get as many cars between us as possible, but i saw her passenger look over a me with a look on his face like he knew what happened was their fault and to see if i was peeved. I was upset for about 20 seconds while i sat at the red light as i thought about my choices: be a jerk back and give them the stare down while i mouth curse words at them through the closed window... OR let it go and chalk it up to a close call. As much as i didn't want to i let it go, i did. I let it go. I'm not telling this story to say i'm a better person then those people that do use choice words or hand gestures (because that was my first thought to do after i knew i had avoided the accident), but i'm really proud of myself for taking that second to think about how i was going to react. That woman is probably my least favorite person of my week still, but....i let it go. I actually hadn't thought about it again until husband called to ask about my day.

I've been driving almost 10 years now, and that's the closest i've come to having a car accident amazingly. Not that i'm trying to jinx myself!
i just realized this is my first post of the new year. Happy New Years everyone! i hope you all had a great, safe holiday. Husband and i did :] We drove for 18 hours straight to New Mexico to stay with his family for the holiday. It was really great seeing everyone, and we had a ton of fun. We're really looking forward to seeing them all again for family vacation this summer. I'll have to post pictures of all our fun real soon.

Do Not View If You Have A Weak Stomach....

Remember this picture?

and this one

The guy that's watching our house for us while we're here in New Mexico for the holiday sent us this picture last night with the disclaimer that we need to get a cat....

.....we're officially getting a cat when we get home next month.

Either I'm Spoiled Or Guys Are Jerks

Last night i magically talked husband into going Christmas shopping with me. I couldn't believe it when he said yes. I had put the food in the slow cooker so i knew we wouldn't have to go out for dinner, and it wouldn't be a late meal we would have to wait for when we got home, and we were on our way. We had to get gifts for each other, which is hard when your shopping together, but i was able to hide things at the stores in the mall from him without any problem, but husband can't keep a secret for anything so i know pretty much everything he's getting for me for Christmas. Does that take the fun out of it for me? .....a little, but not really. I made a list for him so it wouldn't be so hard (i'm a hard person to shop for, i admit it), and he followed it fairly well. Basically he spoils me, and i try to do my very best to NOT exploit that. It doesn't matter what part of the year it is, when we're out shopping and looking at things i say i want (one day. in my dreams. if it wasn't so expensive), he'll roll his eyes some times and ask which one i want then pick it up to go pay for it. I have to pry it out of his hands and make sure he knows that i know its too expensive for now and i'm totally willing to wait on it (I would rather get more out of debt first). But on the occasion, i do let him spoil me, and i love him for it. I've never had a guy so willing to spoil me like he does.
So yeah, we had the few gifts we wanted to pick up from the various stores, and there were various bags for all of this. I automatically grabbed the bags and didn't think anything of it. They needed to be carried, i had one hand holding husbands and the other hand was free, so why shouldn't i carry them? When husband offered continually to carry them for me....i said No.
*Gasp*
i know. i feel like a bad person now.
it wasn't until we were walking out to the car and i had opened the mall doors for myself and husband scolded me for not letting him be a good husband by opening them for me that i realized why he had offered so many times to carry the bags. In movies the husband is always following the wife around to the different stores while she shops and he carries all the bags for her. That's what he was trying to do for me. Isn't that sweet?? And i deprived him of that! He then promptly took the bags from me, had me put my arm in his, led me to the car, and even managed to open my door for me after putting everything in the trunk.
I did some thinking about this on our drive home. Why didn't i think to let him carry the bags until the end? Yes, i've always been independent and it didn't cross my mind or bother me to carry them, but isn't that one of the perks of having a man around? Then i figured it out. I've never had a guy offer to carry my bags, let alone really go shopping with me. All the guys i dated before husband were Jerks with a capital J. I always ignored it when i was dating them, but after breaking up i would look back and realize how selfish they were. There were a few ok ones in there, but i'm so happy i held out and waited for husband. He's the best i could ever ask for. I'll be the first to admit it.
So, Husband, I love you. Thank you for being such a great husband and reminding me how great it is to have a real man.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I Think Our Apartment is Haunted

Or not...

You decide.

i was in bed last night sleeping with husband, and i was in a pretty deep sleep, but i was suddenly woke up to a mans voice yelling "Nooooooooo", and then it drifted off. It sounded like it was in the same room as us but it was distant at the same time. It didn't wake husband up though. I tried to wake him up to make him listen too, but he's such a deep sleeper i don't think anything short of a gun going off can wake him. I can never wake him when he's pushing me off by taking up the whole bed. i have to climb over him to take his side until he tries to take that side back. haha, ok i'm just kidding about that part, but i've thought about it more then once.
Anyway, I told him about it this morning. I'm not sure he believes me though. Usually, if he didn't hear it or see it then in his opinion it didn't happen.
I've thought about it today, and i know i was awake before it faded away. What do you think? Any opinions? Thoughts? Similar stories?
Just wondering :]

I Scare My Husband

Husband has a job where he has to stay over night on duty on base every 4th night.
Dang it.
We had to do the same thing when we were in Port Angeles, we have to do it here. That's just how it is. Eventually it turned into every 8th night after he got qualified there, so that's something we have to look forward to when he gets qualified here (except that he would then have to go on deployments for a few nights....or weeks with the planes). Its a lot better now then it was when he was at school for 5 months though so i take what i can really.
It gets to be disruptive. There are usually fun things we have to miss going out to do together, but its just something we live with and work around. One of the big things it messes up for us is sleeping. Sleeping in the same bed with someone is different then sleeping alone. I prefer the 1st option, not sleeping alone. It's much better. More comfortable. Safer.
I've been having a hard time falling asleep the nights when he's not home, and a few days ago i had a particularly hard time. I couldn't do anything to fall asleep. I read my book, i read my scriptures, watched a movie and tried to just lay there with my eyes closed. i ended up not falling asleep until after 7am. It was a long night, and i still haven't figured out what it was that caused all the trouble. Husband usually gets off from work at 7:30am on weekends when he has duty, so i knew before i fell asleep that he would be home soon, i even thought about texting him to ask him to bring home breakfast, but i finally fell asleep just then.
Then i woke up screaming.
I didn't have time to think anything, i was just screaming. When i opened my eyes i looked over to see husband standing next to my side of the bed with a shocked look on his face.
"i just brought you some breakfast" he said.

".............."
"are you ok? you don't need to scream"
".....i'm sorry..... i wasn't screaming that loud"
He scoffed at me and told me i screamed at the top of my lungs, then he sort of backed out of the room slowly as i fell back to sleep.
I slept for a few hours and woke to find he had snuck into bed with me and that my breakfast was cold on the table next to me, so i warmed it up, ate it, and realized i couldn't keep my eyes open so i went back to sleep. I think we slept until after 2 that day, and got absolutely nothing done that day, but sometimes you can't beat a day of doing nothing every now and then.
He's been afraid to wake me up in the mornings since then, but i told him to do it anyway because i love that he kisses me goodbye every morning.
i don't think it will happen again, but you never know...
Poor husband. I can see how that could be a little traumatic.

Stop Quacking like a Duck

Ok, so we went to our new ward for the 1st time today. Everyone was really nice, and there were people there that really reminded me of some of my favorite people, so that made it feel even better. We may only be in the ward for a few months until we find a house, but we'll enjoy it for however long as we're here.
The lessons we had were really good today. It was a "things i needed to hear" kind of day. In Sunday school they were talking about marriage. One of the things i usually try to remind myself A LOT is that you get what you expect. If you expect things to be crappy then that's exactly what you'll get. It was something i tried to tell the Young Women in my class back in P.A. as often as possible. And that's what they were saying about marriage, you get out of it what you expect or put into it. The story the teacher shared, it didn't exactly relate it to marriage, but the teacher did. I really enjoyed the story is my point, so i figured i would share it with you all and maybe you'll get something from it too. You can relate it to whatever you want to. Marriage, work, relationships with friends and family, projects, kids....whatever. So yeah, the story:


Harvey was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing he noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey . He handed Harvey a laminated card and said: ‘I’m Wally, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’
Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said:Wally’s Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’ Harvey said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’ Wally smiled and said, ‘No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.’ Almost stuttering, Harvey said, ‘I’ll take a Diet Coke.’
Handing him his drink, Wally said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.’As they were pulling away, Wally handed Harvey another laminated card, ‘These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.’
And as if that weren’t enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.
‘Tell me, Wally,’ an amazed Harvey asked the driver, ‘have you always served customers like this?’
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. ‘No, not always. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had just written a book called ‘You’ll See It When You Believe It’. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, ‘Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.’
‘That hit me right between the eyes,’ said Wally. ‘Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.’
‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ Harvey said.
‘It sure has,’ Wally replied. ‘My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don’t sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can’t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.’
Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. Harvey says “I’ve probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting. “
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like a duck and start soaring like an eagle. How about us?
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary of doing well, for at the proper time we will reap the deserved harvest, if we do not give up!
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

Faster Then We Thought

We're all moved in! Some how it all worked out that our stuff arrived in town on the exact day that we were able to move into our new apartment. It all just fell together some how like magic. We must be doing something right for that to happen i think.
It was just about 8 this morning and i was rolling over to look at the clock to see if it wasn't a stupid early hour to be getting out of bed so i could start packing up and get the day going. We still had to get a cashiers check and go over to sign the lease before we could move what little we had with us all in and we were looking forward to a week of sleeping on an air mattress. Then husbands evil annoying phone started ringing. The thing is loud enough to wake the dead. He got up and answered it though, and it was them. The Movers. Our stuff just got into town this morning. "Oh," he said, "we were going to be moving into our apartment this morning". So she asked him to hold for a minute, then gets back on the line to say they could have the stuff there in an hour (!!!????). Forget showers and breakfast, we had to get everything we planned for the day done in a hour so they would have a place to put it. And dang it, we don't get to sleep on an air mattress tonight like we planned....but i think we'll live.
But, some how it all went down without any problems. They brought the BIG truck for some reason (i wish i had taken a picture now that i think of it), and couldn't get it into the complex, but our place is an end unit right next to the road so that worked perfect. They took about 2 hours to bring it all in and set up everything (the bed, my mirror, the dining room table), and then they were done.
We don't have a ton of stuff, a lot of kitchen things more then anything (i wonder why that is? ;), so all the extra stuff fit with room to spare in the back bedroom. I'll get pictures before i start unpacking it all.
i hope to have internet by the end of the week, so then i'll post pictures. Soon...
Now to go unpack...

MOVING :( a review of the experience

Goodbye Port Angeles.
Moving week has finally come....
Last week on Wednesday we got a call from the moving company asking if they could send over the packers a day earlier then we were planning, so we couldn't finish going through everything that we wanted to pack or keep out like i wanted....or do laundry when i wanted either. But we made it all work some how. The packers came thursday morning and packed EVERYTHING they could get their hands on (including the mattresses) while i pulled out the things we wanted left out. John only wanted a few things: his uniforms, a few sets of G's, his tooth brush and razor, the clothes he was wearing.....and of coarse his xbox, games and the small tv. The mind of a man is fascinating to me. If only it was all the simple, but this is more then a day trip and we don't know when we'll be getting our things again. So I packed a few extra things for him (like more clothes). I was going to say no to the tv and games, but i know him well enough to know that if he doesn't have something to entertain him then he'll expect me to give him all my attention ALL the time, so i think i made a good decision there.
Friday the movers came and took it all away. We had spent the night on the air mattress and still hadn't packed our stuff we were keeping with us, but i had managed to keep it all out of the way for them to move the rest of it all out. I kept an electric skillet unpacked and made some amazing scrambled eggs for brunch, then when they were all done we went out and kind of had a little date. We had a late lunch and went to see the new G.I. Joe movie, which john said was even better then he expected (in case you're wondering if you should see it yourself).
Saturday was a super fun day :] On friday before the movers left and we realized we had the rest of the day to do things, i said we should go out to Forks and check out all the sites, but John said "Well, that's what i was thinking we could go spend the day on Saturday doing". (!!!???!!!) He had come up with that idea already and hadn't told me?? What a good husband. It would have been a shame to have lived there for a year and not gone over there before we left. I'm not a die hard Twilight fan, but i've read the books and seeing the sights isn't something a lot of people get to do, so why not? We had fun too :] I think husband had more fun watching me have fun, but it was great still. It's an hour and a half drive from P.A. so we had to entertain each other a little, but that was fun too. We played Name That Disney Movie by listening to the first 5 seconds of each Disney song on my CDs, then had sing along time. The trip was a success if you don't count me spilling my lunch down the front of my shirt in the car, and i'm glad we got to go. We took pictures, i just haven't had the time to go through them and post them, but i'm thinking it will be done in a soon to follow post....
Sunday was our last day in our ward at church. I did really good not crying i think. i only cried in sacrament meeting cuz the speakers were really good. I said my goodbyes to the Young Women the sunday before, but i got one last hug from them before we left. While we were saying goodbye to a few of the other people in the ward we managed to get invited to dinner at some members house. "Mina" helped with the young women getting ready for camp and i got to know her a little from that, but i still didn't know her and her husband very well, but they invited us to dinner anyway and i'm glad we went. Her daughter and her friends joined us and we got to know them a lot better, and now i'm feeling a little gypped that it was at the end of our time there that it happened. I always liked her, but talking with her more i think i had misunderstood her before....but oh well. i'll try to learn from that and get to know more people in CA.
Monday was cleaning day. John was sweet and went to the Laundry Mat to do the laundry we couldn't do before they packed up our washer and dryer, while i cleaned the house. I started at the bottom and worked my way up. He came home while i was cleaning the kitchen and helped clean out the fridge with me. I felt terrible throwing away so much food. I had been getting creative with what we had so i wouldn't have to, but in the end there was things we couldn't pack and didn't use so we had to throw it out. Mostly condiments though. i had 3 things of mustard of all things, and never enough ketchup....i wonder what that says of my cooking? After the cleaning was done, and i must say it was cleaner then when we moved in, i did the packing. When i was done packing a bag or a box of what was left in the house, husband would load it into one of the cars. It was a long day.
We had planned to drive the whole way from Port Angeles to Sacramento in one trip all day on tuesday, but monday night when john when to pick up some dinner he also picked up one of those random magazines with travel coupons in them that you see in the little racks in lobby's of places and found a coupon for a place in Oregon where we had originally planned to go for our honeymoon a year ago. Plus, i think he knew i was going to have a hard time traveling so far in one day with my "condition" (i have a small case of vertigo when i'm driving which makes me feel like i'm sliding off the road some times. I'm trying to overcome it, but it's frustrating). So, we decided to stop and have some fun before getting to Cali. Tuesday morning, after turning in our keys and getting gas, we were off for Oregon. Its a long drive to do by yourself since we were both driving separate vehicles, so i listened to my Moulin Rouge soundtrack a few time to keep my mind from stressing over the drive. It helped a lot until we got to Portland. Most of the drive, especially through the highways was beautiful. Western Washington and Oregon is amazing scenery, i wanted to stop and take pictures the whole time.
We stayed in Florance for 2 nights. It was a short stay, but it was fun. The rain followed us down the coast though, and ruined our plans to go sandboarding. We were both really excited to go do that too, but oh well. We have an excuse to go back another time i guess. We walked down the beach in the rain though, and went bowling and ate great food and still had a lot of fun while we were there. We left on Thursday to get back on the road and finish the trip. At one point the temp was 99 degrees in northern cali during the drive. We pulled into Sacramento around 7, and we've been staying with some friends since.
Friday, John had to check in on base with his CO, but it ended up being "Morale Day", and everyone except for about 2 people had gone rafting. My questions to that are, do wives get to go too, and if so, when are they going again?? So, he was only at the base for about 10 minutes and was told to check in on Monday. We went to help with our friends take care of another friends lawn and garden (kind of as a service project) that night, and then they took us out to dinner. I went to In-N-Out burger for my first time, and while we were sitting outside eating, a helicopter buzzed over us, and about 2 or 3 blocks down it proceeded to make a tight circle over an area for about 20 minutes with the spot light and everything. I couldn't see what was going on down on the ground because of the line of trees in the way, but it was interesting enough with just seeing the helicopter.
Saturday was the day we set aside to find our own place to live. As much as we love our friends we're staying with, i don't think i want to stay here for however long it takes to find and get into our own house. There's just something about having your own place. I'm constantly stressing about making sure our room is clean least they come in and see our shoes out. Plus, you don't feel guilty for coming and going as you please, even though they say not to worry about it. And i always feel guilty eating their food. They say to do it, they have their own kids that are our age that come and go like we are, so to them its like having their own kids in the house, but i still feel bad even if they've become like family. So, we wrote down a few places to check out, i called around to a few, and then we set out to go look at an apartment. The 1st place we went was ok. The apartment manager guy that showed us around told showed us how they paint an "accent wall" for you, the 1st one free and any more after that for $50, like it was a selling point...there were 5 colors to choose from. Maybe that is a selling point for some people, i don't know. It was just across the street from the church building though, and it was really clean, but something about it didn't feel right, so we left and decided to check out another place we were told about. This 2nd place was a lot better. It was still just as clean (super clean!), but something about it was easier. It was brighter and i felt better there. They don't paint an "accent wall", but i think i'm ok with that. It turned out to be less expensive too, so that was nice. The only thing is is that its on the 2nd floor, so that's going to suck when we move out, but oh well, that's what the elders quorum is for i guess ;) John and I both liked it and felt good about it, so we got the paperwork and were approved that afternoon (we look really good on paper). I think we took a whole 3 hours to do the apartment searching process. After it was all done, we went swimming in the pool and just hung out. We're not in the ward we wanted to be in, but there is usually a reason you end up where you do, so we'll be in the ward we're supposed to be in for now.
Sunday was Stake Conf., so we went to that and were introduced to our new bishop, and today john went to officially check in at the base with his CO. I made some cookies while everyone was gone for the day :) Husband has the next week off for "house searching and moving", so tomorrow we move into the apartment with our 2 car loads of what we kept with us to survive, and we'll wait for our furniture to find us in the next week or two. We have some time to see some sites and explore and play for a while, after we get all set up tomorrow, so we'll see what fun stories i post soon. And i'll also be house shopping and job searching soon. The house searching will be the hardest part i think.
i do plan to post a bunch of pictures soon, i just have to find the cord for the camera to get them all off of it. I know it's somewhere...

Hello Sacramento

An Adventure in Pictures

Meet Cute Girl.
One day she was sitting at work being extremely bored and decided she was in need of an adventure.
She wanted to find friends, and maybe even her true match *Cute Boy*

So Cute Girl got on a bus.
It was a beautiful summer morning and the sun was shining when the bus came upon the water at the end of the road.
The bus driver said "We have to take a fairy now".
"Wow!" thought Cute Girl, "i've never seen one of those. i didn't even know they were real. How will it carry the bus?".
But the "fairy" turned out to be a "ferry boat".
The bus drove onto this ferry and they were off to a new land.
While Cute Girl was on this ferry she decided to explore and maybe say goodbye to her home land.
Her home land was so beautiful though...
So she found the escape boat so she could go back.
But she couldn't figure out how to use it so she got back on the bus.
When they got to the other side of the land, the bus took her to a magical place called Seattle. There were many things to see in Seattle.
Then the bus stopped and the bus driver told her to get out.
She was at the airport which was perfect for continuing her adventure. "Where ever the wind may take me" she thought. So she got on an airplane.


She flew in the airplane for so long the sun started to set.
When she got off the airplane, it was light out again and she walked around for a while.
This new place she was in smelled different, so she walked until she figured out what it was.
It was the water. They told her it was the Atlantic Ocean.
When she got to the ocean she found some fish.
And swimming with the fish she found her friend Cool Girl.

Cool Girl was one of her favorite friends. They were so excited to see each other.

But the ocean was so distracting to Cute Girl, she couldn't stop looking at it.
So Cool Girl said to Cute Girl "Come get in!"
And that's exactly what she did.
It turned out to be kind of wet and mushy in the end though...
Cute Girl was having so much fun. But she wanted to do more.
"I still need to find my perfect match *Cute Boy*" she thought.
So she said goodbye to Cool Girl and started searching for someone to tell her where to look.
While she was walking she found King Neptune.
"He's a great person to ask where i can find my perfect match. I think i'll ask him" she said to herself.
It didn't seem like he was much help though. He just told her to go back the way she came and to watch out for the monster crabs the were wandering around on the beach.
She found them. Or rather, they found her. So she ran away to the direction she had came from.
Cute Girl found the fish where she had found her friend Cool Girl. She thought that one of the fish was kind of cute, so she decided to give it a kiss before left the beach.
Suddenly, the fish turned into a man and everything was different. It was her perfect match Cute Boy! YEA! Cute Girl and Cute Boy were united.
They were so happy together. They decided to see the world together and continue on the adventure. They got in a fun "space age" looking car, and Cute Boy led the way.
There were so many buttons and different things in the car.
They drove through tunnels...
And saw roads that had tracks to everywhere you could ever want to go.
And there were bridges too.
They saw many lands together.
Crazy red telephone booths were there....
and castles too!
"I don't think we she be here so close to the castle" said Cute Girl.
But Cute Boy said it was ok...
Cute Boy was caught outside the castle minutes later though...
After his was done being on display, he was put to work in the rice fields and was vary sad.
"I miss Cute Girl", he said.
But Cute Girl was not far away. She was on a mission to save him.
And she did. They ran away together, and found more friends in the strange land. They were "different", but extremely nice.
They even sang and danced for them.
Cute Boy was happy.
And so was Cute Girl.
Then they realized they were being followed!
Everywhere they went, there was the same guy and girl right behind them!
They looked nice...And they were always smiling....
But Cute Boy decided that he should hide in the girls bathroom until they went away.
When it was all clear, they found a waterfall.
It was so beautiful there, they decided to walk the paths.
and they found a place to play mini golf...
but they weren't paying attention and a Pirate Ship came!
The Pirates got one look at Cute Girl and decided to take them both captive.
They were given rules, and told what to do and how to speak now that they were on their ship.
And they were separated and couldn't be together.
But Cute Girl used her skills and made friends with the Pirates.
So the Pirates let them both be free together and sailed away...
Cute Girl and Cute Boy were left by the ocean again...
they didn't know what to do next.
But it didn't matter, because they were together :)
and they were happy.
So Cute Boy surprised Cute Girl with a kiss!
But Suddenly, when Cute Girl went to kiss him back, everything changed!
She was back in her office again....
It was only a dream.
So Sad.

The End.